Problems and then there’s some more

You know there’s a charm in my sort of free life. It’s unpredictable and yes there’s’ scope for so many more events. The result being I find myself in a range of problems those others may never have heard of. Let’s say, I find a perfect top but I’ll never find a skirt to go with it, so I’ll actually wait 6 months. It’s not like I’m choosy, lets just say I visualize what Iwant and if I don’t have it, I wont settle for anything else.

My mother sends me messages like, “you last made any contact 17 days ago. Where are you? Is this the way a sane person behaves?” To make it easier, I do not use a phone, so that’s that. Now who will explain sanity?
17 days, I wonder where they went, honestly I don’t even know today’s day but I will when I check my inbox. But don’t trust it completely because my yahoo dates are American, there I’m always a day behind. And what is thsi about contact, does she think I'm in the secret services, or better still alien blood

Just when I need money and humbly ask for some the ICICI server goes down.
If I try to be good and make an attempt to go to the bank on a certain date there’ll be a popular “Kolkata bandh.”

If I decide it’s time to take a holiday, I have an accident and am confined to bed, and books. Well that part I actually like but whatever.

When I postpone my work and choose to write tomorrow, the Tata server conks for half the day.

Just when I wear my latest street wear fashion chappals it rains that day irrespective of the month.

When I choose to smoke a cigarette its’ always the last match, better still you can’t find the matchbox till you’ve nearly torn your hair apart.

Just when I decide maybe this is what I want to do in life, someone says you should try hairstyling, I mean just why, but actually why not? But I’ll let that be because I’m a little receptive to touch and so I recoil too fast.
I’ll explain that another time. And so it goes on... exciting, well I just laugh every moment... its funny that one can have such a brilliant existence in this pretty place with friends and family who make me laugh even more.

why wine.......

Of late, certain wines that were earlier available in the market with approximately 12 percent alcohol are now being sold with 14-16.5 percent alcohol. This increase has been credited to the use of very ripe fruit. This helps produce wine, which is richer in flavor. Consequently, the use of ripe fruit ensures that increased alcohol is produced when the grapes are fermented.
You should know that most red wines have a higher alcohol content as compared to white wines. However, this is not an absolute parameter and there are variances. Alcoholic content in wine is dependent upon the ripeness of the fruit. The ripest grapes have the highest sugar content. During fermentation, the sugar content gets converted to alcohol.
Usually, grapes that are used to make red wines are picked when they are riper than those used to make white wine. The sugar content, winemaking technique and character of the fruit determine alcoholic percentage. You can check all wine bottle labels to know it's a wine's alcohol content. Wine enthusiasts should be aware that all labels are not alcohol and the printed content may either be 1.5% below or above the actual level. This is not an offence as laws permit such flexibility

trail cameras

Whether it is your passion or your daily dose of adrenaline, hunting is a special ability that is mastered over time. Apart from honing personal skills for every forthcoming hunt, people do depend upon modernized hunting equipment to gain that upper edge over their next best competitor. The latest in hunting technology can provide you with far better results. The use of trail cameras is fast becoming a necessity. Also referred to as scouting cameras they are popular for various reasons. These cameras help you get a better understanding of your hunt every step of the way.
When hunting deer, a great obstacle hunter’s face is the animal’s ability to sense human presence in a certain area. This causes the animal to avoid using a certain trail for days at an end. The use of trail cameras helps scout deer and other animals on a certain trail. The best thing is that all this is achieved with minimal human intervention. Mounting a trail camera helps you attain detailed trail patterns of the animal you are trailing, and makes hunting it down a much more achievable prospect. For those who take hunting seriously, a trail camera can help you get better day-by-day. This tracking device is intelligent and goes a long way in helping you make better decisions regarding your prey.
It may take a while to understand your trail camera lingo but once you master the art, this beauty works well for you. You can start using your camera effectively to watch over travel patterns of your targeted animal. A trail camera can help you keep an eye on the animals travel patterns between certain predetermined points. This will help you analyze which trails the deer prefers and which it is less likely to use. These cameras are efficient and provide you with accurate time and date stamps. This means you can analyze each frame and start understanding its trailing patterns. A detailed study will help you determine the animals preferred trails at different parts of the day. Studying its trailing patterns can help you determine your time and place for the best possible shot to catch your target unawares and get it down. Setting up your trail camera is not a cumbersome job but it is essential that you place it strategically after having studied deer movement in the initial stages. This will ensure that your camera captures deer movement rather than stare into a blank trail day after day. When placing these super intelligent devices, it is important that you keep them out of direct contact with animals passing your trail lest they knock it down.
Since these trail cameras are doing their job round the clock they actually help track more animals than you would believe were walking down your targeted path. Trail cameras capture images of all deer and animals walking past your track. As such, you get a fair picture of all the deer around your targeted hunting area. This helps you determine a target after checking all fine details. Since a lot of your targets are timid by nature, it is obvious that you are not aware of their existence many a time. This is because many of these animals prefer foraging after dark. Your trail camera can help you acquire details of deer that you thought weren’t around apart from helping your identify each animal.
Best of all, gone are the days of spending sleepless days and nights at the jungle to catch a glimpse of your targeted catch. The use of scouting cameras has ensured that you can sit back and value your time. Better still you can go on with your daily chores and work routine without having to spend too much time watching over the deer and his movements. All you need to do is check the time and date stamps to know your animal’s whereabouts while you were out. This is a very feasible option because even if you are out hunting over the weekend you can spend ample time with your family rather than bore everyone over a deer. There’s much that separates the pros from the amateurs, but there are those that have gone on to use multiple trail cameras to steady their reputation even further. This is a great option as it ensures you leave no part of the trail uncovered even for a single moment. You can choose a specified time to remove your trail camera memory card and go through the day’s activity. This will help you study your deer thoroughly and prepare you for the ultimate kill.

Chilli, masala and paan.........

When going to an Indian dining venue, make sure you read the menu card thoroughly. On top of many dishes you will find icons of chillies. This goes onto denote how spicy a certain dish will be, and one thing is certain that your American spice and Indian spice are not comparable. When you eat at Indian restaurants, you are not likely to find baked products or bland preparations. There’s a lot of color, chili, oil, cinnamon, cardamom, use of black peppers, clove, bay leaves, ginger, garlic and turmeric. In fact it s great idea to read up a little about Indian spices to know what you would prefer if you ate at an Indian restaurant.
Once your meal is complete you could even choose to sample any of the Indian sweetmeats that are available at the restaurant. A large number of these sweet dishes are milk based and are unlike cakes and custards. They are smaller and could be served in a milk solution or even sugar solution. Indian meals are often ended with a cup of milk tea. You could order from some special cardamom black tea, also known as the “masala chai” Apart from this you could end your meal by eating some “paan” This is a betel leaf that is filled with certain sweet nuts, betel nut and even cherries and then the leaf is folded into a triangular shape. If it is up for grabs make sure you end your meal with the traditional Indian “paan.” Of course all this may seem a little different at the beginning but a little attempt on your part can help you understand India cuisine just as the Indians see it. So go ahead and sample a little something to know what you are missing

Indian bread and spice

When you order the Indian bread, make sure you order them one after the other rather than all together. This is important because the roti or chapatti is cooked over heat and loses moisture fast, causing it to harden. Surely you could still eat it but now you would be breaking pieces off it rather than tearing them off. So make sure you order your rotis as you need them because they taste a lot better when hot. Most Indian chefs who work abroad do understand that the American pallet is not used to Indian spices as your mouth could truly be on fire. So instead of leaving yourself feeling the steam it’s advisable to order dishes with minimal spices. Once you have developed a taste for all the spice and color you could move on to eating more spices, but this is not advisable on your first few tries. Another important parameter that all diners should follow is not to order things that feel to unfamiliar. In the vegetarian sectors, there will be use of certain vegetables that you may have never heard of so don’t order all alien dishes, lest you don’t find any of it interesting. Always seek help from the steward that’s waiting on you to know exactly what you are ordering.

India eating

When you are eating at an Indian restaurant, at certain specialty places, just to get the real feel you may be served your meal on low tables rather than your regular dining tables. You could even choose to sit cross-legged at such places if you are comfortable. When you eat roti, it is really an odd idea if you try to cut through it with the help of your folk and knife. At times like this eating with your hands is the best alternative. In fact most of your meal should be eaten by hand rather than using your spoon, except of course when you are trying rice dishes. In between changing your course you could choose to wash your hands before starting to eat with your spoon. In case you overlook that factor, don’t bother, it is not a topic of ridicule and is absolutely accepted. Another fact that could amuse you is that after eating certain dishes by hand, you will notice that there could be a yellowish stain left on your fingertips. This however is not permitted color and should not trouble you because it is the turmeric used when cooking that causes such coloring.
Along with your meal you could choose to order for some buttermilk or lassi, which is served sweet or salty. This is made from yogurt that is set at home and then the churned is churned continuously. It s quite filling in itself but is a great taste booster along with your meals. When you are visiting an Indian restaurant, it would be great f you could enquire whether it served Indian cuisine or was a specialty restaurant hat serves only one kind of Indian cuisine. This will provide a fair picture of what to expect at the restaurant rather than be caught totally unawares.
Another section that’s very popular at Indian restaurants is the Indian fish sector. They will not be baked but served fried, steamed or in gravy. Be very careful when ordering because many fish varieties have scores of tiny bones which makes it difficult to clean and eat unless you are a seasoned fish eater. So make sure you enquire in advance prior to sampling new fish.

Indian food colors

Your Indian curries are usually reddish, yellowish, greenish or brownish, depending upon the base used. Most green curries have spinach as a base. Spinach is very popular n Indian cuisine and is known as “palak.” Another poplar vegetarian inclusion is the use of “paneer.” This is made from milk that is fermented with bacteria and then compressed into a cake and is soft and tasty. This is then cut, slightly stir fried and used in any gravy of your preferences. The “paneer” chunks will be white in color and are usually not too fried, as this would cause them to break or get overcooked.
When ordering meat dishes, you could choose between chicken, mutton, lamb or even duck. Eggs too are popular n Indian menus and could be served for dinner or lunch and not just for breakfast as in most countries. You can sample excellent egg curries for dinner. You could order “tandoori chicken” which is very popular. The entire chicken is first marinated in rich thick sauces and then cooked in a tandoor. This s like a big oven made of clay and the meat is cooked on direct heat and the outside of the chicken could be slightly burnt which adds to the taste.
Indian meals are usually many course meals and as such you need to follow a routine when ordering. As such you could start with the Indian bread versions and ask for a dry vegetable dish. Along with your regular salads, you will be served pickles and even curd. This adds to the Indian taste. When starting you could even choose to order for “Papads” that are simply roasted. They are like paper-thin crunchy accompaniments with any of your meals. Usually one portion is enough for two persons but you can clarify this at the time of ordering. It is a great idea to order two different items on the menu card along with a “dal” to get the feel of the real thing. Meals are served in portions so all of this will come to your table together unlike other cuisines where you wait for one serving to be over o bring on the next new preparation. You could start the meal with the Indian roti, dal and gravy to know what most of India eats. After this you could order a rice dish with any gravy, vegetarian or non-vegetarian.

The globalised spice story

Initially spices are cooked in hot oil, but moderated so as to not burn it. The chef always knows when the ‘masala’ is cooked just right because of the aroma it emits and also because at this stage the masala can’t soak in any further oil that’s in the pan. Very often Indian food is cooked in deep pans so as to be able to fry and cook well. The vessels used are very similar to Chinese woks. In many Indian dishes most food is initially fried and then cooked in the gravy. This ensures that the vegetable or meat doesn’t soften too much, but retains its actual flavor even when submerged in gravy.
Unlike European nations where bread is very popular as a supplement with your gravy, Indian curries are mostly accompanied with rice or the Indian bread, known popularly as the ‘roti.’ Rice may be served in its steamed version, or you could choose to explore a little by ordering “jeera rice” which is rice with a dash of fried cumin seeds to enrich flavor. You could also choose to have fried rice, which will have a mix of vegetables sautéed and served in the rice itself. This dish is also known as ‘pulao’ and varies only slightly. You may also choose to taste “biryani” which is an extravagant preparation and could be vegetarian or a meat dish. This portion is complete food and has a rich use of spices and is served with only basic gravy on the side because it is very filling by itself. You could even choose to have “curd rice” which is a mix of yogurt and a few fried curry leaves and fried mustard seeds and red chilies. This too can be eaten without any accompaniment.
Even if you are all for a non-vegeterian platter, there are certain vegetarian dishes that are part of all Indian meals. You can try the “dal fry” which is a serving of pulses in gravy form that is flavored with the use of special spices that include cumin, mustard, chilly and asafetida. Whenever there is a mention of the word “sukha” it implies that the dish is a dry dish with no gravy. Such food is great accompaniment to the Indian “roti,” “chapatti,” or “naan.” They are served hot and prepared on order. Wheat flour is knead and then rolled out in circles or triangles with the use of a rolling pin and then kept over the fire so that the bread gets cooked. In most cases you will find that there could be little charred portions on the outside, but this is not something to complain about.

The American Indian diner

Indian cuisine is fast gaining popularity in major cities all over the world. So much so, that they are a common inclusion in many top holiday destinations. So what is it that makes Indian cuisine this popular? The answer is simple. On a global platform, continental cuisine is very popular. But in the Indian sub-continent you need a little spice in your life. And this is very evident in the food preferences here. As such, in time Indian food has made its foray into the American lifestyle. Of course it takes great effort to break out of your comfort zone and sample something that’s so new to you, but with a little help, understanding Indian cuisine may not be as difficult as you think.
What sets Indian food apart is the generous use of spices. In recent times the use of spices is popular all over, but there’s a little difference. Spices used are packaged and processed and are in their dry forms. In Indian cuisine, you will experience different tastes because spices are used very differently. Whole spices are preferred. The use of fresh spice changes taste as well as the aroma. Fresh spices are ground, and not just put away in a mixer to do a quick job. The use of the ancient “mortar and pestle” is still popular where fresh spices are ground in generous quantities. This adds to the flavor, aroma and gives a rich texture to the food. Another thing that you have to take into consideration from beforehand is that a large number of Indian preparations will be a little oily as compared to the food you usually eat.
What you will notice about Indian cuisine is that most things you order for are colored. Instead of eating dishes that revolve around white sauces or baked products, Indian food is a lot more detailed. In most Indian food, the base for your gravy, which is the spices, is known as “masala.” When you sauté the spice it shrinks and in case you need a liberal quantity the chef could use coconut, tomato, onions or curd to cook up enough gravy, depending on what you choose to eat. In many dishes you will find the use of dry fruits like raisins, dates and even cashewnuts.

A little change...

The latest version of the arranged marriage in the Indian society is to allow a prospective bride and groom to further their alliance ad have private dialogues over a period of time. This is not true n all cases, but in certain families individuals are given some time to get to know each other and see if they could be married. This is a lot better than the original arranged marriage system but isn’t the best alternative because most of the interaction boils down to telephonic conversations and emails which aren’t the best way to get to know someone you consider spending the rest of your life with. Another form of the arranged marriage system can also be compared to consistent dating where parents at both ends are eager to get their children married and fix ongoing meetings for them, giving them the opportunity to spend some time with each other.
However the arranged marriage system is not popular amongst those who are educated and are the new age youth, because quite certainly falling in love is a matter of chance and not something that can be arranged. It is an emotion that comes into full play for a special person when the time is right, and it is only right that people marry when in love rather than make a compromise. The ironic truth regarding the arranged marriage scenario is that the Indian society has great respect for parents. As such, once you decide to marry, most to be married couples will not just go ahead and marry but will in fact go ahead and seek their parent’s permission. In most cases this is just a formality because those who know their parents will not agree simply elope. And as such, parents do interact and eventually arrange and seal the marriage. It isn’t everyday that the man who loves you will walk to your parents and tell them he wishes to marry you. In most cases it is the would be grooms parents who complete the formality. However this shouldn’t dishearten you as the emerging Indian man is modern and will sooner or later take his decisions himself and the educated parent will not consider this an act of disrespect. Till then surely, marriages will not stop taking place, so whether in the name of religion, love or parental responsibility, go witness the next Indian wedding extravaganza.

the Indian family system

The arranged marriage system will not be completely wiped out from the Indian society in any great hurry. One major reason why it still works is because in a large way many Indian parents have a habit of interfering in their children’s lives even when they are adults. The Indian family system is rather strong and serves as an example in itself. There are many joint families that survive even to this day and as such when it comes to marrying of someone n the house everyone feels it is their responsibly to do so. Even in a single-family unit, parents look after their children even when they are adults. In many families even when youngsters get a job they continue to live at home rather than go out and experience life. In many families that follow such value systems the arranged marriage system works. Quite honestly the Indian society needs to be less sentimental about such issues and move on. It is quite another thing to cherish family values and quite the other to be obsessed about it. Hence it‘s time for young adults to act with maturity and make decisions that will give them a better life. Certainly such changes will be more effective and visible when the country starts witnessing a stronger education system. This is when change will not be met with sneer and rebellion and all parents will accept the change.

Married to the stigma

In addition to all this there is the social stigma of having marriages break up. Of late most married couples are working individuals. With work pressure mounting and too many things to handle many relationships are strained and move towards a break up. It is at times like this that the conservative society does point fingers at the modern day love marriage concept. If you consider the same scenario where the working male is married to a girl who chooses to be a housewife in the orthodox arranged marriage system, there are chances the marriage would work, but is it worth the price for having to spend the rest of your life with a stranger.
What’s very difficult to comprehend is that the arrange marriage system still works in this country, but with some luck things will change for the better in a short period. Of late most weddings take place when a man and woman make this decision on their own. Also an educated sector of society is no longer hell bent on marrying people from the same religion. Slowly a segment of Indians has awoken to the fact that marriages are meant to unite a man and women rather than marry religion into religion.

the license

One thing that sure is disturbing is the fact that most of these marriages are based on compromise because you do what is expected of you rather than live your life. You learn to love your husband and his family and live life just the way your in-laws expect you to because in most cases, that’s the only choice you have. Since divorce rates are low in the country it is difficult for young couples to say they want to be divorced because the rest of the family steps in to ensure they remain married. Unfortunately for many of these youngsters, the choice of being in love is not theirs alone. They aren’t given the natural choice of falling in love or experiencing the laws of attraction. They simply have to start loving the person they are married to. This surely is a very strange arrangement because many times two absolutely incompatible people remain together for no real reason. What further complicates their lives is the incident of childbirth. Being in a physical relationship after marriage is not a matter of love but compulsion in arranged marriages, then it’s a habit and you live with it. And once there is a child, your life stars to revolve around him/her. This is another reason why many Indian marriages have survived because both parents feel a bond for their child but in reality do not have much of a relationship amongst them. In fact many arranged marriages have even been termed as a ‘license to rape’ because most women are not given a choice, they just follow the only path they know. What’s really saddening is the fact that in many societies girls are never given the same opportunity as their male siblings. And as such their worlds are very small. They grow up believing that their only purpose n life is to marry, bear children and have a family of their own. And this is what most of them readily do in the name of arranged marriages.

stately marraiges

What was once considered a success formula is now perceived as outdated as more and more people are marrying the person they wish to, rather than marry as per their parents wishes. In fact of late many parents do not interfere in marriage issues and accept modern day alliances. Earlier interaction between men and women was practically zilch, but now times have changed. Even though you are unlikely to view a full fledged public display of affection, you will certainly find more and more people holding hands and at least embracing. Of course it has taken a while for the Indian parent to accept such changes but they have finally given their consent. However this is not the overall notion as there are many societies who still make decisions for the younger generations. There are many instances where youngsters are married as per their parents decisions and there are times when marriages take place within weeks or even days of proposing an alliance. There are many families who are interested in getting their daughters married to boys who are settled abroad. As such, there are many NRI weddings that take place where girls and even boys are not really given an opportunity to express their wishes. This is mostly true in case of Punjabis, Gujaratis, Sindhis and Marwaris. It s very saddening because in such communities absolutely capable youngsters are not really allowed to go and take on a profession but are married too quickly especially in case of girls and n many cases boys are introduced to the family business rather early. This gives them a more respectable mage when they are considered as a marriageable alliance.
The poorer states like Orissa and Bihar too have a marriage system where very young people are married off. This is unfair because at times these individuals do not even have the maturity to understand what a wedding is all about but are expected to live this life that is chosen for them by elders in the society.

still the marraige saga

In the Indian society men and women have always maintained a strange awkwardness between themselves, even as adults. Here it is absolutely normal to find men and women who are virgins till they are not married. Though society is changing of late, marriages have often been left in the hands of guardians, parents, relatives and well-wishers. Till a few years ago, women never ventured out into the job forefront and were happy managing their homes. They were housewives for life. So from being loving daughters who respected her parents every wish, they happily transcended to being wife to a man they had never interacted with. This was widely accepted, as it was the done thing. Most girls were in fact never given the right to choose. A prospective grooms family would come and have a first look at the concerned girl and would let the hopeful parents know their decision after a little pondering. If the proposal was accepted the girl would be considered very lucky and soon the Hindu priest would be summoned to decide upon an auspicious date. If an alliance were not made immediately, the prospective girl would be put up on display a few more times till an alliance was not found. One important thing was that alliances were welcome only from families that belonged to the same religion as well as same sub-caste. This was true in the case of emerging India, where there was no real scope of male female interaction. The government did not even support the co-education system, which kept boys and girls apart from each other all through till the time they were not married off.
The arranged marriage scenario has worked in India from yesteryears. This time, tested formula has in fact even worked wonders for many people. As compared to western countries the divorce rates in India are comparatively very low and this is often a matter of wonder for many. However what goes unnoticed in this so-called marital bliss is the domestic violence that is often a part of many marriages in the Indian society. Of late, there has been a huge change in the way things function, and people prefer marrying a partner they choose rather than depend upon intervention from family members.

why arranged marraiges???

As they say, marriages are made in heaven; in India there is another version of where marriages are made. In most of the European and American world, marriages are made when two people decide they want to be married; this is not entirely true if you are an Indian. In India, the events that lead to a wedding are rather different when compared to norms followed in other parts of the world. Though Indian society has made adapted many changes in the way society itself functioned, few things are still followed. As compared to most first world countries India is still a developing nation and as such backward in many aspects. One such important difference is the manner in which many families marry their wards. Since girls were not working women in many states and societies in India, they were wholly dependent on their families for their existence. For their male counterparts life was not very different as even grown up men seemed all too dependent on their fathers. Society in itself was always male dominated and there was no scope of male-female equality. Women were the second-class citizens and very few women had any identity of their own. Life only revolved around being a good daughter, faithful wife and loving mother. In time the government made adequate changes and women were given the opportunity of higher education. This changed the outlook of society n large way. In time women folk became working professionals and society was faced with further changes. So from the very early days of marriage in the Indian society where men and women didn’t even see each others faces before being married came the new age dilemma of letting youngsters marry according to their own choice

freelance writer

guys please tell me if anyone wants to be a freelance writer...thanks

This is where I live...

I am essentially a dreamer not an activist, but some thoughts don't fit well in a daydream sequence. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be older, now I wonder why? As a youngster the world seemed to be at my mother's beck and call. In my eyes she was a magician.She kept the bullies at bay, nursed my every fancy and appeared with a handful of solutions for all problems.Oh mother! Why did you let me grow up? Today all the pretty pictures you painted are distant. Daily I amf aced with questions and opinion polls. Some retard asks should women be given more seats of power, may be about 33% and good enough. You see earlier the only difference I saw between sexes were body parts. Now I conclude having male organs is the key to any seat of power. My father always said I was a little angel and some magical angels had left me on earth and we've all heard this many times. Unfortunately nobody told me life is not a fairytale. Today these many angels are raped, molested, accused and abused for trying to remain angles. Girls are married only to fbe ound murdered for dowry and don't forget female infanticide. Any intelligent man would surely see where the problem lies. You guessed right. To instantly curb mass murder of the female sex. I strongly recommend a happy and gay society. If a man wastes his life, he is referred to as a loafer.On the contrary even after every struggle she endures women are always promiscuous, or betterstill just never good enough. At the pace this judgment is passed in our country I only wish our law and order system should be apprentice to our characterj udges. They seem to pass orders in a jiffy. Of course there is more violence and bloodshed we can talk about but you know my mother still say "Get up, Stand up;Stand up for your right". Well, it’s a little difficult for me to grasp that staying alive righteously today is a continuous and ongoing war in all societies. And by the way if this is how it’s going to be then so it shall be. I only wonder if more men could and would see the problem...

Ponx

The first time I met her, was a typical hostel setup, of course devoid of nasty dark hostel horror tales. So as part of getting to know a newcomer, I asked her to sing. I had been spared such an agonizing moment as I had joined a lot younger when kids are only loved and comforted and not bullied. I wasn’t particularly a bully but have lived with that reputation. So to justify my presence I didn’t let her move till the song was not complete. I don’t recall but she sang and we smiled and clapped. Someone even remarked how she sang well, and a few of us nodded. All of this occurred in the presence of a bunch of smart and young boarders. Of course Priyanka never engaged in a solo performance again as it was never required. But I must mention she wasn’t a bad singer, I was.

This is only a small test of our characters. Both of us are what the other isn’t. So what is it that still keeps us together? A comfort level that doesn’t stop us from asking questions, speaking our hearts and enjoying each others company. The truth is I have never met someone like her.

We don’t like the same things. She can’t stand the cigarettes; my piercings totally put her off, she hates me not having a phone, she thinks I am too skinny and a few other aspects of my living. Well, I can live with this, because we can talk normally about everything else. Even rock, she learnt about music a couple of years ago. We can talk about food, shops, clothes, shoes, work, vacations, Goa, travel, weddings, dates and boyfriends. The word she loves using for me is ‘sidey’ cause I am happily engaging my time in activities and meetings that are of no consequence to her. Well as for me, now I understand that she is a software developer. Years have gone by since we’ve known each other. The last few years we’ve seen each other only barely. But the only realization I have had is that I’ll never forget her. In friends there are odd kinds and so we are perfect examples.

The best part I am yet to tell you. I have realized after meeting loads of people no one shares the same passion as her. Not only did we see eye to eye but we did what the other said, not because we were idiots, but because we thought same. We still do. In all honestly se was one of the first people who made me realize what nice people are. She made my bed; she washed my uniform sometimes and tidied my rack. I just played all the time. She asked if I had studied and she explained subjects to me. She even watched me participate in sports. She even played basketball only for a while, but honestly I think she could do everything.

To mark my respect for her I gifted her blue eye pencils and crazy junk jewelry, for which she had no taste, but she received them graciously. She sipped her first beer with me. She came for her first party with me and she always dressed cute.

What sets her apart, many things; her greatest attributes are her directness and her infectious smile. Well, smile is an under statement, she laughs real loud and she makes me laugh.

Jai Hind

Well, similar to aspirations and dreams that you nestle, I to have mine. I wish to spend my life smiling and making you smile if that’s humanly possible. John Lennon sang “Imagine”.. I would like to live that life. That’s how I see it, so my friend unless someday I do rob a bank or win a lottery I am not going to be very rich, financially that is to speak. But despite that, I’ll help you smile.

Since, I don’t have realistic dreams and plans; at times I do wish to be involved in things that are of consequence in any little way. I do acknowledge most online forwards because a few of them make me smile. The other reason being, some of them have been mine to pen from scratch. I love writing them, of course now the content I write is a wee bit different, but I will always support happy forwards.

The latest agenda of any importance to me is to speak up for ‘Jai Hind’. It is an honest souls endeavor and I wish him luck. It doesn’t take much. But try feeling it. I believe all land and water is a gift to mankind, but if you don’t learn to cherish your land, you’ll never be able to identify with another land. That’s just how I see it, you may disagree. So what has this country given me. I am going to play counter strike now. For and against.

Pollution…A grave situation especially since our count is really high. Everybody says India is polluted. You and me too. There is a solution. Try car pool. Use one car in the family. Stop burdening yourself with loans. You know honestly if more of us used public transport, the government would have to do something about it. But of course we feel a lot more superior than being classified as superior. So I really wish we run out of fuel and instead of fifty something, fuel prices should soar to 500.

Cleanliness..Well a distant dream again…we thrive on takeaways and keep discarding packages on the way. We actually use plastic.hehehehehehe…..we crib about society charges and can identify with swiping plastic at expensive dinners..

Equal opportunity…we think the country isn’t educated but want the best only for our children… no one cares a damn whether the village rustics get any education at all…

We make issues of caste.. hehehehe.. so actually we’re not human.. we only identify with branding ourselves.. We also wouldn’t dress below our dignity..come all ye designers..i was born to be your patron…

We don’t go for picnics any longer but organize official buffets..one phone to another, from desktop to laptop, from one loan to another…brandequity, …..and we are even recognized as frequent fliers, obviously the job requires it..

We talk about corruption but you wouldn’t join politics.. and we would pay the rickshaw guy extra.. We would haggle when caught without a license, we take all liberties to use cell phones when driving, we love shopping at the mall…we have all reached is what we believe..

And I am not even going into discussions about men and women..

Obviously we can’t change everything. But something’s you could…

So honestly my country is beautiful, so I say Jai Hind.. Humankind is selfish. This isn’t my land to destroy. It is my reality to support, conserve and preserve..

Dear Voodoo Child...........

Since there is no other way of leaving a message for you, or knowing who you are, I shall leave a note for you here. Thank you.

Content living

I know a girl. Her name’s Kuku. I have known her since 99’ when I was in my first year college. She walked up to m the first time and asked for a light. When I lit the match she asked for a cigarette. It was a Wills navy cut, she looked at it and asked for something else. When I offered to get her brand, she asked for fresh lime soda. Did I get irritated? No. We smoked, we drank fresh lime and she spoke about being stoned. I smiled. Then I never saw her in college. I asked around, most people were clueless. I met her a year later when I had dropped out of college. I was taking a break from my education and she was already on a break. Well yes she remembered me. She asked where I got my eyebrow piercing and she had one the next day.

As a college student/dropout I have seen many broke days. It didn’t worry me any more. We were reliving baby boomer lifestyles and were high on flower power. Liberated souls, minimal clothing, warped makeup, loud hairstyles, unacceptable social behavior, red eyes, strong perfumes and attitudes that made others turn their faces. Well wishers advised us about repercussions of the negative publicity, friends stood by us and we all loved each other. At that time the country was awakening to brand names and dressing differently and experimenting with social stigmas, we were pros, quite literally born to live a dream, and we did justice to it. We also did make great friends and archrivals during that phase. One day Kuku asked me what floozie meant, I immediately looked at the dictionary and then shut it and asked how her day had been. She said it was all good and someone had told her she needed to get a life. He had also said I was pretty okay but she was certainly a floozie. ??i asked who but we never saw him again. Well soon she knew the meaning and she shared it with me, and we looked into each others faces, a wee bit serious for a few split seconds and then we laughed very loud. The truth was I had just about figured out what being with a male was and Kuku was quite simply as petite as me. So here we were just coming in terms with the feminine aspects of our lives and were already very known. Why? Because we never shied away from speaking about our lives. Nothing was under wraps. It was a big event for us.. so cheers.

Kuku soon had a Swedish boyfriend, I had quite a few. She had even more colorful dreams and soon she was married and gone. I was again in college and happily in love. She informed her parents after she left the country, and I called and told mum I am living in. Kuku visited every year or 18 months. And we would laugh into the wee hours of the morning. When she came back 2 years back, she refused to go back or call her guy. I know him; he’s a nice guy and a musician. Anyways, she didn’t go back. Well two years later she has a baby, yes a little wonderful boy. She loves him and her guy now. They can’t be married as yet and I am not sure they want to. I don’t like this guy much; I have met him 3 times already.

The truth in all this is that I have only met this girl about 50 times in life. No exchange of letters mails or calls. But some people you always like. She is one of them. The other reason why I have mentioned this is no matter what, you can survive if you wish too. I am very happy and no longer in love. But whatever the odds are against you, life is beautiful, live it.

exchanging notes...

The mail that was in my inbox…


So now, you have started lecturing about dreams and reality. The problem (no it is not a problem, it is just a level of understanding) with people like you is that your impressionable minds are so influenced by the writings of rumi and kafka that you do not even care to understand the real meaning or the purpose of those writings. If you think that I was/am so engrossed in reality then why do you think I sat down in inox while the national anthem was being played. Why do you think I stubbed a cigarette on my hand just to convince my friends that they can also do the same (one of them actually stubbed four times just to prove he was better)? However, that was a stage, and I no longer have the ability to derive pleasure from such acts. Moreover, why would I keep writing to you if I was so gripped with reality? You see, I have experimented with dreams and reality for years but I did not stop where people like rumi stopped, their outpourings were nothing but a reflection of their disillusionment with life. No doubt, they were quite good at it, but as there was already a rumi and a Kafka, I do not think people now need a copycat. You know your blogs sound like typical bollywoodian remixes, which do sound great, but start to bore after some time. Look, I am not here to criticize, all I want to tell you that it is very easy to sit in a three BHK flat, with a laptop and supportive friends and romanticize about life, reality and dreams. People like rumi and Kafka produced literary marvels because they actually experienced what they wrote, not like people like you who are not even able to handle a breakup properly and are aspiring to become mental drug suppliers. You know I have read a few of the modern writers (vikram seth) but they all sound so distasteful cause I think they are actually unable to live their writings. I may not have anything as of now, not even dreams or even reality, but I am not going to squander my life in trying to become a rumi copycat, may be I will try to become something that I have in mind, something that I always aspired to be, may be something that will prompt people to love me. You see my English is bad and it is very difficult for me to express myself even in Hindi. The fact that you have vague ideas about me is not your fault; it was because I was never able to express myself properly. I do not generally like defending but your accusations start pinching my heart and I have no option but to blurt it out. Look the fact is that we all do what we think is right, whether it is a beggar on the street or an industrialist. Think about it, and this is why you need not feel immensely proud about doing your own things, being a rebel, cause everybody else is doing the same. Try something else, try adopting a child may be, then you can say that you are actually doing something different, though the world will still not accept you as a mental drug supplier. THE BOTTOMLINE: - the fact that you have so many suitors is not because your writings are extraordinary or you are super intelligent, it is just because people think you are easy. However, since all we really need is love and acceptance, I think I you will live a much happier and satisfied life, as for me I think I will die looking for love, which is quite difficult to come by in this unrealistic dream world infested with copycats and gypsies.

Respected sir,

I would like to thank you for your prompt reply.It is a pleasure to read your thoughtful essays about my life.Sorry about the lecture , but its an inborn habit. I had at some point in life I considered being an orator and as such old habits die hard.you would be happy to know that at this moment i am smoking a cigarette{navy cut} and smiling to myself..in context to my impressionable mind and understanding capacity, Sir i believe it speaks volumes, or else i would not speak to you o be impressed by your theories.as far as reading sir..i am in love with molana rumi and khalil gibran as they always make me smile.. but theres a deeper meaning. I do wish to learn Persian so i am able to understand their real writing and check the English translations .. that is all i am interested in understanding...this by the time i am 50..kafka.....sir i am not accusing you of your obsession with reality.. i am certain you have dreams. sitting at inox is a great achievement in itself as i don't believe you to watch too many films..so whether u sit, stand upside down or on one long, hop skip or jump, the importance lies i the fact that you even bothered to go..as far a stubbing cigarettes is concerned.. that may be of grave importance to you.. and your super enthusiastic friend.. the closest i shall get to such a experience is to meditate and walk over burning charcoal.. its an achievable dreamlike concept..magical... from you expression i assume you feel like the grand old man of India.. kudos...

sir, you are unnecessarily pressurising yourself..please do not look for links.... as their writings inspire me and aspire me ..but i would be a fool to even assume that i may be able to emulate their writing styles..i would rather write about Iraqi web cams,also sir all he best with your experiments of dreams n reality..for me it comes naturally.. hehehehehe...

as far as experience sir, my little life has been immensely eventful..i am not narrating my life though.. i choose to write my experiences, i would be penning the autobiography of an unknown self proclaimed gypsy.. not the best idea.. it wouldn't help me survive..though i plan to write a lot, but my expression are still not on the cards..sir as far as the blogs.. i am very grateful to Bollywood for sharing their copyrights. at least i am living their dreams so u cant accuse m of inexperienced writing..Sir i am not proud of being a rebel but am happy that i live my life...

Yes i do come across as super easy.. and i even agree to it to an extent...that is because i don't see why i should be standoffish with anyone.Sir my suitors.. well yes I know they exist but they don't fit in my dream.. so they don't count...they are however nice people in their own rights and i shall not stop my association with any of them...also i do love all of them..

Sir as far as infesting your unrealistic dreamworld, i have left a footnote at the end of the homepage confessing that I shall confuse and confuse you.And also in this tug between real and dream, I always sign my mails as nobo_nita, and your mails reach me as buff.
and the blog profile lets you know my name, and you leave comments as anonymous.

Thankyou..
cheers nabanita.
Please see.. I am deleting your email id but am putting your query and m reply as todays blog entry..Thankyou..

"Love you and dream on........"

Footnote..The person in question is known to me and I have done my best to keep his identity…the mails are unedited…

Drug supplier

I am not a saint, I don't intend to be. So in being myself there's things I say or do that aren't very conventional, at times they are unacceptable. One of these, is my open and wholehearted support to smoking marijuana or hashish as compared to drinking alcohol. and even if I am not invited as the speaker I do barge into such conversations and freely voice my opinions. So much so, that many a sober friend and acquaintance has often spent the rest of the meeting with a fake smile. They love me and accept my existence but are sober and nice people who either don't see the difference, don't indulge in either or prefer alcohol, and may at times consider both harmful , but for some odd reason the utterance of cannabis implies drugs, and the law and the holy books prohibit such indulgence.
So I accept that I am to an extent a criminal and may be required to engage in moral coaching or psychological therapy to treat my diseased existence. Now the only truth I see in my support is reasoning. Again since I am not a saint, I have been drunk and stoned. Do I swear by either, no. Why detest alcohol. Well, for one thing I like wine. All other liquor, makes me socially accepted for a while,if the party's longer, I get louder, then crazy, then embarrassing, I dance and sing and even talk to most people, including individuals seated twenty meters away. Then of course , have sober friends trying to cover for me and smuggle me out. But I insist the party's only just started and propose to dance on the bar, then by myself and then even start drinking multiple alcohol types and singing in praise of alcoholic. Well quite apparently I am drunk. I always say am blessed as have friends of both sexes that I trust and in time of my downfall, that includes vomiting and total passing out, they apologise to those around, pay for cleaning charges, carry me home, get clean water to wash my face, put my dirty face on their laps and pushed my hair away from my face saying I would be just fine and we're soon reaching home, put a bucket beside my head, changed my soiled clothes and washed me an tucked me in bed. Now this is the best case scenario, cause my friends are with me. On another occasion I could be totally on my own or with equally crazy acquaintances or confused souls or those that are as drunk as me. Result. hmmmmm. So now You not only have to deal with being drunk and embarrassing tales but also having found yourself in anothers apartment or yours, with someone you may have never been in bed with had you been sober. this doesn't imply that you have had sex, because both could be too drunk, but nevertheless it's awkward. Of course sex is the other possibility. This said and done, you having reached home in itself is nothing sort of testing your karma to capacity. how drunk people drive home I have no clue. Th other obvious behaviour is to act like a superhero and argue and fight with absolutely brilliant and sober individuals who are probably around just to hear good music. And the cheery on the desert is obviously to watch two drunks, converse, then fight, repeat the same conversation ten times over, fight and make up, slur and still make out what the others saying.

As for being stoned, it may make you vulnerable, but at-least you don't go through the above experiences. You are of course at the risk of imagining prettier clouds and better worlds. The best part is that, it never makes you pick a fight with a fellow smoker. Its more about true companionship and often you smoke in groups you are introduced into by friends, Things don't really go wrong, unless you are unknowingly smoking shoe polish instead of hashish.

So getting back to where I started, this support led me to being called a drug supplier apparently because I am misleading those around me, especially those who may be inspired to live a greener life. So I have come to believe hat drug suppliers are of two kinds, those that can supply narcotics in exchange of a fee and those that can fuel your imagination if you spare some time. Of course the latter is fewer in number and as of now I may be the only existing mental drug supplier. So in keeping with the true nature of my title, I shall supply the greener lands all my support

Here's what the wind spoke......

It isn't always sensible to ask people around you for suggestions, not because they don't answer but because they judge too much. The routine guidelines before offering advice is to always analyse the already distraught and confused individual.The most wise would say, "If I was in your place.....". Others would happily say you could do this or that or those and maybe this , that or those. some would simply say, I don't know. Somewhere in between these solutions lies the smart input, "I told you this would happen" and "This had to happen". Well there's obviously million other things that could be suggested.

Now, what do you do. In all honesty, you know these suggestions are more or less confessions. though we don't know it but most of the things we say to others are what we are ourselves. Hence maybe a majority of these suggestions don't work for us as people are too similar and too different. If you need to ask, talk to the clouds, they always move away. Ask the butterflies who pass you, whisper to the wind that whistles and rustles. The answer will perplex you for a moment and the next minute you identify with it. It's only about noticing the motion around you. It always says, time's going by, live this moment. So don't wait for the right time, don't wait to make a choice, the answers are all there, sometimes from friends and sometimes from the wind, understand them.

Between you and me....

To speak the truth or not. Given a choice what would I do. I don't know. Can I accept everything that I do and justify my actions? Maybe, maybe not, this is my life. Are men and women always attracted to each other? And if amongst the many men that you meet, a certain someone leaves you murmuring like a little girl with no care in the world, would you let him know. The night is always young and though things between men and women don't always happen at night, why does the night make you so ready. It prepares you. Have you ever been able to talk to someone as if he wasn’t sitting there and you were merely speaking your thoughts and life aloud? Have you met a man who doesn’t ask you questions and it doesn’t matter to him who you are. Someone who can sit with you and be a gentleman without asking leaves you with very less apprehensions. I won’t say that there aren’t people who pretend and fake heir existence, but there are those who tell the truth and share their story. Can all relationships be given a name? Yes. Only difference is that may not be accepted or understood. But things really aren’t so complicated. If you accept and understand a sentiment, don’t let it go. It’s not something you can keep as yours but it’s yours to cherish. And he can’t stand with you, but he’ll stand by you. He may not walk the streets wit you, but he’ll help you get to the other side. It’s easy to hold back because you respect each other. It’s as easy to express feelings because you feel for each other. It’s alright to sense the difficulties and smile the shy smile. And when the night is over do you see the morning in his face, on his back. And have you ever laid on your back and watched the white ceiling paint colorful realities. If there is physical attraction, consciousness, awareness, caution and the mind agrees as well. It may still not work. For that balance and total guiltless submission even the air around you holds its breath. And silence and words gives way to a new understanding, a meaning that involves the physical and mental and allows the spiritual to come into being. Such is the form of unspoken sentiments.

writers block

This isn't so much about me, but a little you need to know. I haven't traveled the world, but I see it go by. If I dream, I see it till the end I wish to be a writer and tell you about what I see. I wish to climb the mountains and watch them touch the clouds. Every valley that I cross dances at my beck and call. The stars watch over me and on a dark stormy night I cling to the sheets. When I am alone I wait for the doorbell to ring. When I want to be alone I disappear. I wish to cross a million barriers. I am a rebel and don't care a damn about what you say. Walk with me and I'll teach you to dream. Ask questions you have an answer for. Speak to me and I'll make you smile. Talk to me and I’ll hold your hand from dawn to dusk. In silence we shall rejoice and in company we shall party. Believe me and you'll know the truth if goodness was a yardstick I am a saint. If truth is a virtue I am virtuous. If diplomacy is the need of the hour I am a diplomat. And if the karma chameleon was around he would stop over or tea. I am content and yes I am happy with life. In living I see a truth. In death I see the same truth. If the conscience was to be judge, then I am just and honest. If you choose to cry or laugh with me I will be there. If I am a long distance from you, write me a letter. And when the winds carry it to me, I will read it by the brook. And in my thoughts, friend you will be a hero. I may not support you always but you are dear to me. If I ridicule you, forgive me for I know not another way. If this is a journey, stop when you are tired. When you’re lonely, walk across the path. Every leaf that you feel will say next spring; we'll be your shield again. For everybody who deserts you there is a reason somewhere. For every thing that goes wrong in life I am to blame I some capacity. For every reality I accept, I forgive myself for the wrong I have done. In forgiveness I find strength to face you. In every mistake I see two ways of doing something. In every wrong I see a right. For every smile I have cried. For every tear I have thought. In every book, wisdom talks to me. In every sentiment I shall spend my life. Every flight is my first and this moment is real. For every second that passes I look forward to a new. If I asked for forgiveness I would mean it. If you said sorry I would smile. For every flower that you pick my heart cries. For every bouquet at the doorstep I smile. In promises I see a truth. In breaking them I see an untoward situation. In betrayal I do not see dishonor but a weakness that can be overcome if supported. In pictures I see my life. And for every bird that flies and every baby that cries I see a new beginning. For every sad story I sigh. For every cause that I don’t support I wonder and in time the guilt fades away. If there was a lunatic it is I. for every wish I make there is someone in mind. For every wrong I do I am to blame. If perfection was mine I wouldn't be me. My flaws are real too.
In every “I” of my passage you will see yourself somewhere. Live this dream and dream on. Content and grief are real and the dreams are yours to live for. If I continue to be a writer I shall amuse you, confuse and convince you for life.

if

If

Would it be fair to say, I love you, because the other person says so? And what if you did, just due to the sheer excitement of being loved. And of course eventually fall in love. Is that how it was supposed to be. Or are you supposed to tell from the way a stranger looks at you that the other is whom you want to love. Is it really that complicated. If I sit back, and think, I see countless faces. Have I at some point even, for a second loved each of them? And would I have been better with another. The only thing I understand is that two people should be happy. A first look always tells a story. Next time, understand that look. If you have at any point walked away from love would you really ever feel the same again? If you want to say something to someone, say it before you cant say it ever. Cause there will come a time in life, when you will be sitting and thinking, 'If.. ..........................'
Don’t let your life be a spate if ifs, buts, how’s, why’s etc. there are too many things we try to answer that don’t require any reasoning at all. And in this act of yours, you may miss the real meaning.

Will you love for a reason?
Will you reason in love? U may choose either or only be in love. The choice is always yours. U have a mind that u can't control. Makes u feel exasperated. So I say don’t think at all. I asked so many things. But u can’t give. So I say never ask a question for which you don’t have an answer. Do something, and you’ll find an answer.