exchanging notes...

The mail that was in my inbox…


So now, you have started lecturing about dreams and reality. The problem (no it is not a problem, it is just a level of understanding) with people like you is that your impressionable minds are so influenced by the writings of rumi and kafka that you do not even care to understand the real meaning or the purpose of those writings. If you think that I was/am so engrossed in reality then why do you think I sat down in inox while the national anthem was being played. Why do you think I stubbed a cigarette on my hand just to convince my friends that they can also do the same (one of them actually stubbed four times just to prove he was better)? However, that was a stage, and I no longer have the ability to derive pleasure from such acts. Moreover, why would I keep writing to you if I was so gripped with reality? You see, I have experimented with dreams and reality for years but I did not stop where people like rumi stopped, their outpourings were nothing but a reflection of their disillusionment with life. No doubt, they were quite good at it, but as there was already a rumi and a Kafka, I do not think people now need a copycat. You know your blogs sound like typical bollywoodian remixes, which do sound great, but start to bore after some time. Look, I am not here to criticize, all I want to tell you that it is very easy to sit in a three BHK flat, with a laptop and supportive friends and romanticize about life, reality and dreams. People like rumi and Kafka produced literary marvels because they actually experienced what they wrote, not like people like you who are not even able to handle a breakup properly and are aspiring to become mental drug suppliers. You know I have read a few of the modern writers (vikram seth) but they all sound so distasteful cause I think they are actually unable to live their writings. I may not have anything as of now, not even dreams or even reality, but I am not going to squander my life in trying to become a rumi copycat, may be I will try to become something that I have in mind, something that I always aspired to be, may be something that will prompt people to love me. You see my English is bad and it is very difficult for me to express myself even in Hindi. The fact that you have vague ideas about me is not your fault; it was because I was never able to express myself properly. I do not generally like defending but your accusations start pinching my heart and I have no option but to blurt it out. Look the fact is that we all do what we think is right, whether it is a beggar on the street or an industrialist. Think about it, and this is why you need not feel immensely proud about doing your own things, being a rebel, cause everybody else is doing the same. Try something else, try adopting a child may be, then you can say that you are actually doing something different, though the world will still not accept you as a mental drug supplier. THE BOTTOMLINE: - the fact that you have so many suitors is not because your writings are extraordinary or you are super intelligent, it is just because people think you are easy. However, since all we really need is love and acceptance, I think I you will live a much happier and satisfied life, as for me I think I will die looking for love, which is quite difficult to come by in this unrealistic dream world infested with copycats and gypsies.

Respected sir,

I would like to thank you for your prompt reply.It is a pleasure to read your thoughtful essays about my life.Sorry about the lecture , but its an inborn habit. I had at some point in life I considered being an orator and as such old habits die hard.you would be happy to know that at this moment i am smoking a cigarette{navy cut} and smiling to myself..in context to my impressionable mind and understanding capacity, Sir i believe it speaks volumes, or else i would not speak to you o be impressed by your theories.as far as reading sir..i am in love with molana rumi and khalil gibran as they always make me smile.. but theres a deeper meaning. I do wish to learn Persian so i am able to understand their real writing and check the English translations .. that is all i am interested in understanding...this by the time i am 50..kafka.....sir i am not accusing you of your obsession with reality.. i am certain you have dreams. sitting at inox is a great achievement in itself as i don't believe you to watch too many films..so whether u sit, stand upside down or on one long, hop skip or jump, the importance lies i the fact that you even bothered to go..as far a stubbing cigarettes is concerned.. that may be of grave importance to you.. and your super enthusiastic friend.. the closest i shall get to such a experience is to meditate and walk over burning charcoal.. its an achievable dreamlike concept..magical... from you expression i assume you feel like the grand old man of India.. kudos...

sir, you are unnecessarily pressurising yourself..please do not look for links.... as their writings inspire me and aspire me ..but i would be a fool to even assume that i may be able to emulate their writing styles..i would rather write about Iraqi web cams,also sir all he best with your experiments of dreams n reality..for me it comes naturally.. hehehehehe...

as far as experience sir, my little life has been immensely eventful..i am not narrating my life though.. i choose to write my experiences, i would be penning the autobiography of an unknown self proclaimed gypsy.. not the best idea.. it wouldn't help me survive..though i plan to write a lot, but my expression are still not on the cards..sir as far as the blogs.. i am very grateful to Bollywood for sharing their copyrights. at least i am living their dreams so u cant accuse m of inexperienced writing..Sir i am not proud of being a rebel but am happy that i live my life...

Yes i do come across as super easy.. and i even agree to it to an extent...that is because i don't see why i should be standoffish with anyone.Sir my suitors.. well yes I know they exist but they don't fit in my dream.. so they don't count...they are however nice people in their own rights and i shall not stop my association with any of them...also i do love all of them..

Sir as far as infesting your unrealistic dreamworld, i have left a footnote at the end of the homepage confessing that I shall confuse and confuse you.And also in this tug between real and dream, I always sign my mails as nobo_nita, and your mails reach me as buff.
and the blog profile lets you know my name, and you leave comments as anonymous.

Thankyou..
cheers nabanita.
Please see.. I am deleting your email id but am putting your query and m reply as todays blog entry..Thankyou..

"Love you and dream on........"

Footnote..The person in question is known to me and I have done my best to keep his identity…the mails are unedited…